Ordinarily, nobody ever gets into a relationship with the idea that one day it might just not work out. As a result, it can be very hard to think ahead and plan around something like a divorce befalling the relationship. We do have to be realistic though and perhaps take a proactive approach to planning for the playing-out of the relationship, but chances are if you’re reading this right now you perhaps want some actionable tips to implement in the midst of an ongoing divorce.
Get in a ‘soft mediator’
A marriage is a legally binding contract which will require professional legal intervention to end officially. It soon becomes apparent that it’s not just a legal expert in the like of a divorce lawyer you’d be dealing with, as the need to very quickly learn how to get unemployment benefits becomes apparent as one of the many pressing matters to have to deal with. It won’t help anybody to sugar-coat what can be the administrative nightmare that lies ahead during a divorce.
This is why it’s important to get adequate support, beyond the professional realms. Get a mediator to help with the softer side of proceedings – a so-called ‘soft’ mediator. This would be someone who is close to the both of you and who is likely to maintain neutrality in dealing with the issues you’ll both have as part of the process, but at the same time it would have to be someone who is realistic about all the implications. Sometimes all you need is someone to talk to – a familiar reference point for both parties.
Pre-establish ideal separation terms together
Emotions could be running sky-high, depending on the circumstances around which the divorce is playing out, but at some point some calm will need to be exercised in dealing with the reality. Pre-establishing each of your ideal separation terms prior to consulting a legal professional will save you a lot of time, headaches and inevitably money, so work together on this.
There will have to be a lot of compromise, naturally, but be firm about what you want or need as well, because you may just need to fight for the justice you feel you deserve. Be reasonable…
Help each other progress after the divorce
As much as there may be some bitterness surrounding the official split, being civil will ultimately benefit the both of you. If there is any way you can help your soon-to-be ex-partner survive and even thrive post-divorce, you shouldn’t hesitate to lend a hand. Write up a recommendation or motivation which might help them benefit from their Oklahoma unemployment claims, for instance.
Try to part as friends
Lastly try to part as friends. However it is that the relationship ended, your lives will always be inextricably linked, especially if there are kids involved, but even if there aren’t any. Try to make the other party jump on board with you to see the ultimately failed relationship as an opportunity to establish a great friendship at best.